I love lamp.

Yes, I referenced Ron Burgundy; but I really do love my new lamp.

I was lulling through a Friday afternoon in the windowless office I call “the cave.” Contemplating how much time I will need to sort through over 20 years worth of stuff the bureaucrats that came before me thought they might need some day, and stuffed into a metal piece of furniture before we move to a new building in a month.

There is a large pile of mostly obsolete surveying equipment that somebody precariously leaned behind the door to my office. I had never really looked at it, until that day. I noticed a wood and metal surveying tripod, circa 1950ish, behind a soil auger and broken measuring wheel. It was over 6 feet of Rustic-Gorgeous. My dilemma: How do I claim it before somebody else sees its potential? If I was a dog, I probably would have peed on it, seriously, I wanted it that much.

Not trying to give away my inanimate object lust, I sarcastically asked our engineer, who is unfortunate enough to share an office with me, “Do you think you will ever use these?” He looked, laughed, and said, “No.” Me, “Are you sure?” Him, “Uh, yeah.” Hooray! I’ve won that battle. Well, I didn’t really need to fight for it, but it still felt like a victory.

Next step, I contacted the guy who manages logistics and supplies for our region. “Sooo, I’m cleaning out the office to get ready for our move. What is the procedure to dispose of obsolete equipment?” Unofficially, the government doesn’t like the liabilities of donating, so he said most people just take things to the dump. “So if I want something the office will never use again?” He said, as far as he was concerned, I just took it to the dump! I think I squealed when I hung up, R-G the tripod was all miiine!

That night, while trying pull out R-G, I triggered an avalanche of depth gauges and fiberglass survey equipment. The bruises were worth it, because I noticed R-G had a little sister about half her size. I couldn’t split them up, right? Fortunately nobody was around to hear me squeal again.

Big and little R-G the tripods. There was no way I was going to pause for pictures before I got these beautiful babies home.

I lop-sided skipped as best as I could (those things were heavy!) to my truck with my new loot for a weekend project. That took 3 weeks. In my defense, I had to drive 2 hours each way to reach somewhere other than Walmart that sells lampshades.

I dressed Big R-G first, and here she is. I would still like to wrap the shade with a map of the region she was used in, but I haven’t figured out how to completely iron the creases out maps yet. Looking at the picture I should probably also clean the caked mud off of one of her feet.

Big R-G, all dressed up for her debut.

Little R-G will have to wait until I decide on a top to convert her into an end table. I’m thinking a large slab of agate. I like rocks, but that’s another story for another day.

Anyway, I wasn’t blogging a couple weeks ago and holding my SLR while trying to figure out (i.e. – whining to tradesman boyfriend) how mount the shade and lamp kit would have been even more annoying than the project itself. So, I only have before and afters.

Project breakdown:
– Lampshade – less than $30 including tax with a 10% off coupon from Cost Plus World Market
– Lamp kit – $8
– Mounting hardware – $6
– CFL Bulb – $1
Total project cost: $45

I love lamp. Keep it classy, non-existent readership.

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4 responses to “I love lamp.

  1. Non-existent reader three wishes to relay complete and utter jealousy of having seen those nonchalant, lazy beauties hanging about the cluttered corner but wasn’t creative or quick enough to have coifed them so finely as you have done! Brilliantly played miss! And no, I do not want them! ( :

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